Mom Guilt and the Bigger Picture

What My Twins Are Teaching Me About Balance

Every day, I wake up early before the world starts moving and before the little voices of my 10-month-old twins fill the house. Those quiet morning hours are when I work on The Other Moms, a project that’s grown from an idea into a vision for building a space where moms feel connected, supported, and understood. I sip my alani, map out ideas, and do what I can to move this dream forward before the rest of my day takes over.

By 8 AM, the babies have been fed and are off to daycare. I’ve switched gears. I’m a product marketing manager for a software company that serves nonprofits across the country—a job I’m passionate about, knowing it helps organizations make a difference. My workday is full of meetings, deadlines, and creative problem-solving. I take walking breaks when I can, getting in 2 to 4 miles on my walking pad most days, trying to keep my body and mind moving.

And then, at the end of the day, I’m “Mom.” There are bottles to make, books to read, little toes to tickle, and twin giggles to soak up before bedtime. It’s a full life, one I’m incredibly grateful for. But even in the middle of all this joy and purpose, there’s a familiar companion that follows me around: mom guilt.

The Quiet Whisper of Mom Guilt

It shows up in the early hours when I’m focused on my laptop instead of cuddling my twins. It creeps in during a long work meeting when I wonder if they’re missing me at daycare. It hits me when I hear about another “first” I wasn’t there to see.

Mom guilt doesn’t care that I’m trying my best. It doesn’t care that I wake up early to carve out time for my dreams or that I work hard to give my family the life they deserve. It doesn’t care that I’m doing my best to be present when I’m with my kids.

But what I’ve learned is this: Mom guilt isn’t the end of the story. It’s just a reminder of how much I care. And while it’s tempting to let that guilt weigh me down, I’ve started to look at the bigger picture—the lessons I’m teaching my kids, even in the midst of this juggling act.

Lessons for My Twins

The choices I make each day are about more than just meeting deadlines or chasing a dream—they’re about building a foundation for my children. Here are some of the lessons I hope my twins learn from watching me navigate life as a working mom:

1. Hard Work Is Worth It
   When I work early in the morning or put in a full day at the office, it’s not just about getting the job done—it’s about building something meaningful. Whether it’s helping nonprofits through my work or creating a supportive space for moms, I want my kids to see that hard work has purpose and that it’s worth pursuing what you believe in.

2. Take Care of Yourself Along the Way
   My morning walks on the walking pad aren’t just about exercise; they’re about keeping my mind clear and my energy steady. I hope my twins grow up seeing that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s what makes you strong enough to take care of others.

3. Dream Big, Even If It’s Hard
   Starting The Other Moms is no small feat, and it often feels like an uphill climb. But I want my kids to know that dreaming big is always worth it, even when it’s hard. I hope they grow up watching me build this platform one step at a time and realize that every dream starts small, with a little courage and a lot of heart.

4. Being Present Matters More Than Being Perfect
   I’m not with my twins 24/7, and that used to sting. But now, I focus on what I can give them: my full attention in the moments we share. Whether we’re reading bedtime stories, playing peek-a-boo, or laughing at something silly, those moments matter more than the hours I spend apart from them.

Reframing Mom Guilt

Mom guilt doesn’t just disappear, but I’ve found a way to live with it without letting it run the show. For me, it’s about reframing it. When I feel that familiar pang, I remind myself of the bigger picture.

I’m not just working to provide for my family—I’m working to show my children what’s possible. I’m chasing my goals not just for myself but to inspire them to chase theirs one day. I’m building The Other Moms not just to support other women, but to show my kids the power of community, passion, and resilience.

And most importantly, I’m teaching them that balance isn’t about perfection—it’s about making space for what matters most, even if that looks different every day.

To the Other Moms

If you’re reading this and you’ve felt that same pull—that same tension between work, family, and your own dreams—I want you to know you’re not alone. Mom guilt is tough, but it’s not the end of your story.

Every choice you make, whether it’s for your career, your kids, or yourself, is teaching your children something valuable. They’re learning about resilience when they see you keep going. They’re learning about love when they see how deeply you care. And they’re learning about strength when they see you balance it all, even when it’s messy.

So here’s my reminder to you (and to myself): You’re doing enough. You are enough. And every step you take, no matter how small, is building something beautiful for your family and for yourself.

Let’s keep going. One early morning, one small step, one dream at a time.

What about you? How do you handle mom guilt? What lessons are you hoping to teach your kids through your choices? I’d love to hear your stories—because none of us have to do this alone.